Happiness is not a myth. It’s a tree covered with bright green leaves and flowers. It keeps you happy as well as makes every other person around you happy too.
It might be something you crave for, every minute, unaware that it lays within you.
You had planted a seed of happiness inside your chest and someone, along the way, disguised, watered or even poisoned your desire, but in the time left you fruitless, withered and upset.
You started thinking yourself more as a disgrace and trauma. You start feeling that you’re unaccepted and unloved. You seek for that very hint of hope which keeps you alive, but there are those mock-y days when you find only anxiety and insecurity.
You get all rusted on the inside but wear a mask of indifference because you know that people no longer care about your existence. You understand they’re mean, let you down in every facet of life and yet you never gave up on them.
I’m sorry you have to face this all by yourself. But if this wasn’t meant to be, you would always give up yourself to please others, the untrustworthy people to whom you have to give your validation.
I thought you might have realized, but you are rather immature for a world like this.
The popular girls in your class pretend to like you when they don’t. They make fun of you. Yes, they do.
Your friends take you for granted, except a few.
You may think that these things will never change, and actually, they won’t. I won’t give you false hope.
But your feelings do require your better attention, they are valid.
You don’t have to bottle up your feelings every time.
Start thinking, why had you been holding them responsible all the time? Never giving a thought that you own yourself more than they can ever do. We all go through bad things.
And when you do, you start growing, appreciating yourself.
The popular kids in school & your friends never did justice to you because you yourself haven’t been abhorred to it.
You realize, get hurt and weep. Then you get stronger.
It does seem unreal and I feel awful that you are so modest. You really have to appreciate your flaws. These flaws are your own while those people aren’t.
You drench your pillow to sleep every night, maybe for months for the people who never cared, never will. They constrained you from growing.
So you get real. All that anxiety turns into your strengths. You feel good. Really good.
You would’ve never felt more alive.
The people who hate you hardly matter, you realize.
They hammered nails into you, but the nails turn into flowers and bloom.
You realize how your love to you matters the most and what others think of you does not. Trust me, it does not.
As time passes, you also realize that things get worse. You come across many stubborn people. You will still cry for them. But you get through all this, survive.
Because you are stronger than you thought you ever were.
You will love yourself in the first place, and this love is not one-sided, and it lasts forever.
You make mistakes, you learn.
You learn to grow from the dark.